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Braving the Holidays – Part 4 – Respect the Vault

Read Part 1. Read Part 2. Read Part 3.

No, I’m not talking about a vault at a bank.

But I am talking about safety. Psychological safety.

As we journey through Christmas week, there tends to be a lot of activity. Even with a simpler routine this year, there still seems to be a lot of activity.

That activity can sometimes be summed up as busyness. Your to-do list is never ending. There are errands to run, food to prepare, presents to wrap, people to contact, and it can all be a lot of stress instead of joy.

Will You Respect the Vault?

This is one of the moments we need to remember what the V in braving is all about. The v is for vault, the safe space of knowing what’s yours to share and what’s not yours to share and acting appropriately. 

I don’t know about you, but what I witness (and sometimes contribute to) is when stress is high, conversations aren’t intentional, nor are actions. 

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of Year” they say, while you mumble in the corner about what still needs to get done as they’re watching your favorite Christmas movie. Sometimes, throwing in an off the cuff comment about why you’re worried, stressed, or just want a little help.








Was that Yours to Share?

You know that moment.

It’s the moment that your loved one, co-worker, or friend says something to you that your head spins. It can be about a million different topics. The big triggers 




Relationships starting, ending, changing.

Future job plans.

School plans.

Anything that was planned and didn’t happen, unplanned, or unexpected.

The topics that breach the vault are endless. 

Here’s the question: Is that “time-stopping announcement” yours to share?

That’s what respecting the vault is all about – knowing what is yours and what is NOT yours to share.

Build and Maintain Trust by Respecting the Vault

When we want the people we live and work with to trust us, know what information is ours to share, and what information is NOT ours to share is essential. If you’re the person always sharing someone else’s news, you’re not building trust with the people you’re telling. Instead, what you’re unintentionally communicating to them is, “I’ll share your story, too.”

And for the record, no, the information you share in breaching the vault doesn’t have to be earth shattering or life changing. It can be as simple as the grade your child received on a test that they wanted to share with their other parent. 

So what do you say? Let’s brave the holidays together and make these next two weeks free from time-stopping announcements that aren’t yours to share. Or maybe the simple way to say it is let’s not issue any “Vault Violations” to the people we love. 

When you’re clear about what’s yours to share, what’s NOT yours to share, you’re on your way to building and maintaining trust even as you brave the holidays.